The real power and value of commitment lies in the fact that making and fulfilling commitments is the only way to build trust between people. It’s through the process of making and delivering on our commitments that we build trust within ourselves and with those around us.
Repeat this and write it down: Making and fulfilling my commitments is the only way to build trust.
Relationships work when there is a high trust level. When trust is low relationships fail, remain very superficial, and damage the participants. If the core relationships in your life are not working, it is most likely because you or the other person is not honoring commitments. In the most valued and beneficial form of relationships, both parties receive what they ultimately want and expect. Without the practice of honoring commitments, successful relationships can’t happen and are reduced to manipulation.
Do not make commitments lightly. The size of the commitment doesn’t matter. The fact that you made it matters. For example, I’ll help you with that assignment tonight turns into you watching a movie and avoiding the person with whom you made the commitment. I’ll pay you back that cigarette tomorrow turns into you never returning the cigarette. I’ll exercise every morning turns into you sleeping in again. I’ll take care of the kids tonight turns into a no show. I’ll honor our marriage or partnership turns into secret affair. Spend your honor wisely. Keep your commitments to a number you can honor. If you find you can’t keep a specific commitment, find a way to honor it anyway through another route. You have worked hard to make meaningful goals and plans. Now are you ready to commit? Are you ready to build back the trust in your relationship with yourself?