Some people see conflict as a competition, I win or I lose. Competition increases conflict. Using competition to resolve conflict means we determine exactly what we want to have happen, usually before we even talk to the other person. We draw our line in the sand, present what we want, and set ourselves up for either winning or losing.
Competition in personal relationships means someone always loses and that always means the relationship loses. When self interest is more important than mutual interests, the underlying conflict is rarely resolved. When one person wins the conflict, the resolution is rarely satisfying to both people. Someone is always left feeling unfairly treated, injured or hurt. The real conflict or a similar one will come up again (Tjosvold, 1993).